Hey Ab,

It was so nice to see you this weekend and I really miss you!  Last time we were there, I cried half way from Midland to Petoskey.  This time I made it all the way to Mosinee before losing it.  And then I really lost it.  I sobbed for about an hour after we got home, a complete mess.  I picked a nice fight with Seth first though, just to make it that much worse.  Oy.  Not a good night!

Seth was irritated with me when we left because we were leaving half hour after we had planned.  I thought that was unfair considering how infrequently we see you, but he was all pissy... I didn't say much about it until we were almost home (to Wittenberg) when told me he wanted to stop by his parents' house to say hi.  I was so mad!  I mean seriously, we see his parents ALL THE TIME and he has no qualms about spending an additional half hour with them.  But we spend an extra half hour with you guys and he was all out of joint over it.  I said so and he argued that we all knew we were trying to leave by 8:30 and so he was annoyed when we left late.  I argued back that I knew we were going straight home so it seemed annoying to me that we were going to stop at his parents' house for no reason at the end of a 10 hour drive, which he subsequently turned into a "you don't like spending so much time with my family" kind of argument.  That was totally not what I was trying to say!  So of course, Seth's mom calls in the car and asks if they should put some burgers on the grill for us and Seth looks at me, tells her no, and then says, "Are you happy?"  I was so mad!  And after we left their house he said, "Was that quick enough for you?"  How did he not get the irony???  It's not at all that I don't like seeing his family, it's totally fine, but I very rarely get to see mine and for him to be annoyed about a half hour delay on the way out seems completely ridiculous to me when we spend so much time stopping in to see his parents or grandparents or whatever the event of the week is.  By the time we were home the argument had snowballed and I was a complete, emotional mess and I felt irrational and unable to really express anything at all so I just got in bed and cried for a while.  And then this morning and last night I end up being the one apologizing to Seth for being so irrational, which I'm mad about because while I recognize I kind of lost it, I think I had a perfectly valid point in the first place.  Unfortunately, Seth did not get my point and thinks I'm ridiculous and there's no point bringing it up again now that it's over, so I end up left completely unsatisfied.  Ugh.  The crying was definitely odd for me... I haven't felt so out of control and just overwhelmingly sad in a while.  Definitely something I need to talk to the doctor about at my next follow-up because it's quite possible that it has something to do with altering my dose of Zoloft.  She had me take 1.5 pills every day during the week before my period and then to drop back down to 1 pill a day during the week of my period, so Sunday was my first day back on one and I wonder if it's almost like withdrawal or something making me so emotional.   Maybe sticking to one consistent dose will be better for me.  I'm keeping track of all of this kind of stuff daily, so unfortunately she probably won't be able to do anything until after next month if there is any sort of pattern.  Ugh again.

So once I finally got over the weepiness I got out of bed, had a little bit of dinner, and then I went out for a run.  The run felt good.  My stomach was a disaster as a result of not eating well on the drive home (likely because I was upset), but I made it through about 40 good minutes, so I'm happy about that.  This morning I had a little bit easier of a time waking up than I've had in a while so that was also a good thing.  I made it to work early even, after having a complete hot breakfast at home.  That hasn't happened in some time!  Fingers crossed I can manage to get out of bed and do it again tomorrow.  My tummy is growling now and I'm definitely excited for the pizza I brought for lunch :)  Thanks so much for sending us home with so much good stuff!!  The sandwiches in the car were definitely time savers too.

Sorry about the completely negative dump up above, I was definitely just sad to leave you.  But I shouldn't be, I should happy that I got to see you!  It was so much fun spending time with you, I just adore little Emma!!!  I can't wait until the end of June when we get to spend a whole week with you, it's going to be awesome!  I showed my coworker Aimie some pictures of Emma and she said you should be really proud of yourself for feeding her so well... I thought you might appreciate that!  I told her that she doesn't like tummy time and she said it must be the name.  Her daughter's name is Emma and she never like tummy time either.  Kind of funny.

I love you so much, Ab!!!

Rachel