Hellooooo blog world! Oy, I am bad at this! Maybe we should rename the blog to Cho Whittles her Middle and Shabs Watches…. No! I will get better! Not only with posting am I bad, but with eating too. Especially this last weekend. The Krueger’s have a sweet tooth! Chris always has the cupboards stocked with candy and other goodies. I guess I did ok, but there was one night that I had frozen pizza and then because I had lactaid pills in my system I took the opportunity to binge on milk chocolate candies. Bad idea. I felt like crap after. And when I eat crap, I feel like Emma eats crap and I that’s not good! And then since we got back late Sunday we didn’t go grocery shopping. That is always when I eat the worst because we eat out more or I go for quick foods. This morning I had a bagel and cream cheese. I don’t have lunch and the guys are making hot dogs so I’ll probably just eat those. Man I’m starting to feel really bad about myself as I write this. My jeans still fit though. I guess I’ll continue to vent first before I get to writing out my goals. I’m finding it very difficult to find/make time to cook and workout. I feel like we have been SO busy. I really think I need this weekend to get back control. Our house is a mess, soooo messy, and that doesn’t help me feel in control either or motivated. I also need to start planning meals again. Maybe I will leave work a little early today and go grocery shopping before I pick little Emma up from daycare.

So my goals…

1.       Target weight 135 lbs, current weight (morning weight) is 143.5

2.       Eat less carbs

3.       Eat less processed foods

4.       Clean and organize Emma’s room. She still sleeps in a pack n’ play in our bedroom. Mostly because I don’t want her out of my room, but also because her room is trashed! And her crib is full of clothes.

5.       Clean and organize the basement! I need this area clean and functional so I will be motivated to go work out down there.

6.       Run! I would love to get up to 3-4 mile runs. This feels like a very aggressive goal to me because of the time commitment for my workouts. It usually takes me 2 hours to dress, warm up, cool down, stretch, etc. But if I could work this out with Stu to have this time 3 times a week that would be so great. It scares me though, because I have in the past and still do get TERRIBLE migraines if I don’t work out properly (proper fuel before and after work out, proper warm up and cool down, avoiding exerting myself too much during workout..) Migraines are intimidating!!!!!

7.       Pure Barre!! I want to start going once a week. I don’t want to go though until I am a little bit in shape otherwise I will just kill myself (and be embarrassed). Nicole (Anguilm) teaches pure barre and I saw her this weekend (SO good to see her! first time since the wedding!) She said there is a post baby package you can do. She also suggested if I don’t feel ready to go to the studio yet that I could get the dvd’s and practice at home before hand. I thought that was a good idea. Although it really is the studio atmosphere that really relaxes me. And getting out of the house for an hour by myself would be amazing! I left the house for an hour last night to get my nails done and Emma screamed the whole time. She was totally not feeling well though. I called Stu and could hear her screaming so I forfeit getting a colored polish and just left with the clear on. Poor girl really did not feel well L Then I didn’t eat until 10:30 pm and didn’t get in bed until 11:30. Emma woke up at 1:30, didn’t go back to sleep until 3:00, woke back up at 5:00, up at 7:00. It feels so hard to make plans/goals for myself when my life now revolves around this little precious girl! But I will try hard!

I ordered Ashlee’s gift last week. It said it should deliver to her tomorrow. It will be $30 per person (Mom is going to buy is $30 worth of bread from that great bread store in Ann Arbor). I got her those blankets (I found some that had animal prints) and the Moby Wrap. The Wrap is amazing! I love it. It is a ~12 ft long piece of fabric that you wrap around you to hold the baby. We bought a super expensive Baby Bjorn carrier, but it hurt both me and Stu’s back. We even paid extra to get the one with the lumbar support! This fabric wrap is sooo much more comfortable. I can take Emma for a mile long walk with it no problem at all. Also those blankets are my fave fave faaaavvee. I think they are becoming Emma’s too. I’m starting to see her really be comforted by them. It’s kind of cute ;) I will write you guys the check for the cabin and give it to you when you are here. Do you just want me to write it for $320 then?

Where did you get that bikini that you keep talking about. The one where you said it is good for your tummy because it folds over. I want to look at it for me. If it works for you maybe it will work for me?? I’m starting to try to learn to be ok with this new body. I can lose weight, but I don’t know if I’ll ever lose the stretch marks. But they are kind of like battle scars. It’s not like I got them by eating my way to a big belly. I had a baby! I saw Deidra this weekend, she always looks beautiful to me, but I did notice that she still has the baby belly (of course! I don’t know why I think I’m the only one who has a baby belly 4 ½ months post partum.) The shirt she was wearing showed it. But she still looked great! I think I need to not be so hard on myself, because maybe people see me the same way that I see Deidra????

I also need to go dress shopping for the baptism. And yes, unfortunately I do think that black may not be the best color to wear to a baptism. I really want to find a light pink dress to wear. Or yellow. I found a cute purple high neck sheath dress with a skinny black belt at Kohls. It was snug around my belly (still fit, just wasn’t super duper flattering), but I still bought it. I bought it in hopes that since it looked somewhat ok now, that maybe by Todd’s (June), Elana’s (July), or Scott’s (September) wedding that it might look even better.

I’ve been writing on here forever, oops. Time to go eat lunch and then I should probably go do some work. I love you so much!!!